Holy Macoroli. I’ve just been through straight hell and back. I consider myself an artist of words, but I honestly don’t think I can sit down and describe everything I’ve just been through acurately. It might be because of all of the emotions and pain I suffered at OCS or it might be something else, but everyone knows you can’t relive pain. After the worst passes, its only a faint feeling you can only try so hard to duplicate. To this end I don’t feel that I can give my story truthfully because I can’t make you feel pain and I can’t relive the pain I was in.
My life was completely turned upside down. I became a conformer, something I hate more than anything, but in the end I rose as a leader, just like everyone else. Its what they must do. Teach the militarization in order to break you down and build you back up. I hated every second of it and it was hell but somehow I rose from it all and did not drop out so that’s a huge plus.
After all of the beatings and all of the pain I can say it was worth it 100% and if I had to go back, I’d do it all again. It would suck a whole lot, but I’m stronger now than I was so I can do it.
One word of advise is take nothing personally. You cannot dwell on the little things. If they scream in your face and say that you are pathetic and your not going to make it, Well you’ve made it that far haven’t you? So you can damn well make it the rest of the way.
When I arrived at OCS class 04-10 was comprised of 48 candidates. On graduation day only 29 of the orginal members of the class graduated. That’s kind of a big deal for me. I’m a female and I made it farther than almost 13 men. Talk about empowerment. I might not have been the best at PT and I might not have had all my shit together, but it doesn’t matter one bit because I was an original and I graduated with the class I started with.
There are one million things running through my head right now, and at least a million stories I have to share. You might see references and short clips from my time at OCS, but overall I am not going to sit here and write it out because if you plan on going to OCS, then you need to make your own story.
In the end though, you arrive as a civilian who can’t do anything right, and you especially cannot complete simple tasks together with your class. When you leave you are wearing your dress blues proudly, marching around in step, as a United States Naval Officer.