So yesterday was my first try at knuckle pushups. And it went terrible. First of all I got conned into doing them by a very intimidating man and of course on a matter of pride I had to try. He told me that he would put me through a physical fitness test for only 5 minutes and in that five minutes we would only do five pushups.

I agreed to this (because I’m stupid) and later on that day I went down to his office and he took me to get my ass beating. These pushups are not as easy as you think, you have to put all of the weight on your knuckles and he made us come all the way down to just slightly above the floor. He deemed this the resting position. yeah right. After a minute of keeping this position, which was very freaking hard, he had us come back up.

Wow. I couldn’t even do it. I had to put my knees down to get off the ground. Then he made us extend our right leg and do it again. Then our left leg, and finally he made us do two more for good measure. WEll I certianly got five pushups in five minutes and it was a very bad bargain. I’ve never sweated more, nor have a put so much thought and effort into failing so miserably.

When we finished those five he took us outside to try a knuckle pushup on tar. After recruiting three other men to come over and do one with us, we got into position and went down.

My knuckles were immediately strained from the effort and I could feel them starting to skratch up and tear under the hard surface of the tar, bad news bears. While in resting position my arms completely gave out and I fell all the way down to the ground. So much for my effort. Right now I don’t even know how I’m typing because of how much pain I’m in.

Basically, I’m going to have to suck it up and try harder next time. I want to be able to do fifteen knuckle pushups in the future. go me.

Confessions of a Writer<3